A Queen In Deprivation

It has been a week and I have not lost a single pound. :(  I am so upset with myself, it just feels like a week waisted.

I always liked Anna Nicole. A strange woman, I know, but that's why I like her. Not to mention the amount of weight she lost, and how fabulous she looked at 39yrs. old.  She was definite "Thinspiration".    Her life that she lived and the beauty she endured reminded me of Marlin Monroe.  It is a shame.

http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c374/tony_torres/AnnaNicoleSmith.jpg

Well I lost the 2 lbs I had gained, but no more. :(     I am just going to stay on track, I'm hoping another 2 lbs will be gone by the 7th.
I'm not going to step on the scales till then, I'm just going to bust my ass working out, and hopefully surprise myself!!
It's February already,  another month closer to summer, to shorts and tank tops, and BATHING SUITS!! (Oh God)

I have been so sick with the flu bug. But I'm back and feeling much better. I let myself eat some the past couple days with the thought that I needed it to get to feeling better, but it all made me gain 2 lbs. :(   so now I'm a little upset over that. But now I can go back to focusing on my diet and exercise. I want to loose those 2 lbs by the 1st.  that gives me 4 days. ~ I CAN DO THAT!!!
I'm going to try my best anyway!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Physical Touch and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" border="0">

Physical Touch:		9
Quality Time:		9
Acts of Service:		5
Words of Affirmation:		5
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

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Wow !!! I have not stepped on the scales for 6 days now, (I told myself I would wait 7, but couldn't)   I have lost 7 lbs!!!  I LOVE FASTING!!
so I ate 2 snack wraps and small fry from Mc donalds!!!  (so good)  BUT THAT  IS IT !!! 
I would like to do another fast.
V8 juice and water for the next 4 days. --Offical New goal--  4 days!!! (3 minimum)
Summer is coming, and we are going to the beach the whole week before my birthday!! 
My last week of being 28 years old, and I'll never be 28 again. and at the beach!! I want to look the best I can!!
I have to get my ass exercising more. It's one thing to drop some pounds and another to still have the jiggles.

I want to be called skinny!!!  LOL

I have been looking around for inspiration for my diet, (fasting, starving). Pointers and friends to help give me support. I don't have very many friends and the few friends I do have, they would have no idea of who I really am inside. My constant worry over dieting. That on occasions of feeling guilty for eating I'll purge. and the constant feelings of self hate.
I am close to 30 years old, and most of the people I seem to find that are like ME are like between the ages of 14-22. So I feel like I'm a bit of an odd ball. I would love to find someone just a little more my age to be supportive to each other. Someone who has had kids, and who doesn't already have that perfect looking body, and still thinks there fat. I can't help but to get a little annoyed when I read someones entry and they want to know if they look fat, and they are like a perfect size 0, with out a flabby stretch marked belly.

OK, I am here to start this because for one I am Fat and the other I am Sad! I want to keep track of my progress, of self betterness, and skinniness
Today I weigh 164, my goal is to weigh 125 by june 1st. We leave to go to the beach on june 9th. last summer I was at 138lbs. I got off track in the fall and then through the holidays. The weight came back on so fast. This year I am more determined than the beginning of my diet last january. Also I am not starting at the same weight as last january.(last year I started at 190) But with my goal weight being 125, I still have to loose almost as much as I did before.
I HAVE TO STICK WITH IT!!! Better this time, better body than last summer!!!